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Whether you're trying to get through a slow Monday morning at work or looking for someone to keep you company while you binge watch The Walking Dead all night long, a quick introduction will put your boredom to rest in no time.If you're looking to skip the introductions and small talk, being direct is the best way to go.And for those champions of diversity who are going to try to VIDA count these excerpts according to the diversity of sexual acts, please know that I tried my best to choose racy novel excerpts that illustrated a wide range of human sexuality. She began to work systematically at my penis with both mouth and hand, spreading her arms comfortably across my knees.If I did not happen to hit upon your specific form of sexual entertainment, I humbly apologize in advance (but seriously — there must be something here that entertains you). He had more or less resigned himself to the women being old and decrepit and was taken aback to see teenagers. I flinched from the pressure of her hard elbows …As she brought my penis to life I looked down at her strong back, at the junction between the contours of her shoulders demarked by the straps of her brassiere and the elaborately decorated instrument panel of this American car, between her thick buttock in my left hand and the pastel-shaded binnacles of the clock and the speedometer.Although it might seem like a woman doesn’t want to get on a phone call because she enjoys texting, the fastest way to get her out on a date is to call her, make her feel attracted on the phone and then arrange a date.If you hide behind texts and are too afraid to get on a phone call, a woman can easily lose interest and decide to hook up with another guy who has the confidence to call her up and arrange to see her in person.

The next morning Alistair looked quite interested as I explained how the pay scale worked, but when I mentioned the need for uninterrupted privacy he gave me an intent look. The third one matters most in phone porn, where even Jenna Jameson's libido won't help you if superimposed over the vocabulary of a nun. I know how to flirt but that's all implication and innuendo - everything phone sex is not. Some guys even like the occasional gagging sound, which proved useful when I swallowed water down the wrong pipe and had a coughing fit. One call went well until the man said he'd just used my mouth as a toilet and wanted to know how that tasted. " I wanted to say, but that would be unprofessional. Simon, the one who told me to have a great day before he hung up, acted like his first time with a woman he'd long loved. Most of the guys liked name calling, with dirty bitch, nasty slut and filthy whore punctuating their chats. " You know how sometimes you don't notice your refrigerator running until it shuts off? All my calls, even minus their X-rated content, shared a quality I hadn't noticed until Nikolai spoke without it: a pay-by-the-minute rather than conversational tone.

If you were successful in making her feel a lot of attraction for you when you first met her, it’s important that she also knows that you are interested in her and aren’t just getting her number for fun.

Many guys get phone numbers from women and never follow up on them or arrange a date.

In theory, you can make up to 40 cents a minute, but to get that you have to do at least 60 calls a week with an average call length of 10 minutes or more. I'm serious." "Of course I will," I promised.*** Sex lines, psychics and other pay-per-call services started in 1980, when the FCC ruled that phone companies couldn't put limitations on the content or ownership of so-called Dial-It services, where customers could call phone numbers (usually in the 976 exchange) for weather forecasts, horoscopes and other oft-updated information and have a per-minute fee added to their phone bill. I sounded a little stilted but Jay got the happy ending he sought and hung up just after I heard the telltale gasping on his end of the line. Oh, it must be cold in here - I'll remove my underwear too. Forsooth, that feels nice." And the Foley artistry. " "Because you deserve it, you stupid little bitch." All right, I can see where this is going. Fifteen minutes later he started building up to the climax of his story: he wanted to hear me say, "I'm a stupid little slut who deserves to be raped and strangled and have my tits cut off." That's what almost made me hang up at the start. There's a warped lesson on the value of perseverance.

If your calls average six minutes or less, you only make a nickel a minute and risk being fired. If I were looking for an actual second job, I wouldn't even consider this. Once businesses other than the phone company could run paid calls, there appeared almost immediately a service known as "dial-a-porn," where customers could hear recordings of women describing graphic sex acts. I pressed one again, and hung up after hearing more nothing. Press one for 18 or 19 and hold nothing back." What happened to 27? Phone sex is like the real thing, in that no woman's good her first time and if she says she was she's lying. The handbook says phone performers do better if they get into a fantasy. A successful call from Jay's perspective but a failure from the company's viewpoint, lasting only three minutes. The first time a caller wanted to hear me being spanked, all I could think to do was draw my knee up next to the receiver and slap it. I didn't hang up now, but I couldn't say that sentence. I spent several minutes trying to bargain out with less extreme variants. And I learned another useless lesson from the night's events: a sense of ironic detachment strong enough to sustain you through spanking your knee and fellating your fingers won't do jack to prevent a sadistic murder fantasy from scaring the hell out of you. There's a lot of paperwork required to claim your first and only paycheck from a sex chat line. No, I'll buy a dollar-store frame and keep it on my desk, and then someday - if God is good to me - an unsuspecting person walking through the office will say, "Why, Jennifer, whatever is that check?




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